oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
