FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
