Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
