My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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