she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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