eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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