I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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