i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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