someone threw a dead crab at me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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