covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
