They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
