Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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