mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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