My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
