jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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