do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
