my mouth tastes like poor choices
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize