it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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