Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
