At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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