It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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