I wish life had little blips of pornography
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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