my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best revenge is premature balding
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
