Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
