How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
