We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're like the curious george of whores
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
