Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
