the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His nipple licking is glorious
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