Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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