Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize