Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Randomize
