went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
