Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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