This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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