Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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