Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
