He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize