is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
