I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
