your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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