You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize