Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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