So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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