new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
