You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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