Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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