Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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