Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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