Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
