Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
