awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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