i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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