Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
