iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
