one might say we're banned from that church
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
