That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize