Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1326) Bad night (719)
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  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (688)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

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  (954): You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom? http://tfl.nu/6goc
  Replies (35) Good night (1059) Bad night (15158)
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  (530): View more from California

  So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

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  (530): So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant http://tfl.nu/6mtv
  Replies (17) Good night (3319) Bad night (784)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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  (301): the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner. http://tfl.nu/49va
  Replies (19) Good night (5455) Bad night (2291)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on

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  (512): this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on http://tfl.nu/vnoj
  Replies (22) Good night (3694) Bad night (1422)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1658) Bad night (920)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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  (970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise
  Replies (9) Good night (794) Bad night (3297)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

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  (575): I have a broken liver (1-575): I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us. http://tfl.nu/0hjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (647)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.

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  (630): And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then. http://tfl.nu/h2gd
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (469)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."

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  (480): The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver." http://tfl.nu/f94p
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (373)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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  (856): I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering http://tfl.nu/ry4c
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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  (913): Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B http://tfl.nu/a09x
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (237)
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  (805): View more from California

  The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s

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  (805): The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s http://tfl.nu/0nr9
  Replies (8) Good night (441) Bad night (325)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK

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  (503): I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK http://tfl.nu/p76p
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (588)

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