if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you