i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends