glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
