So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
